So I have not posted much on here (this only being my third post in as many months), but there is good reason for that. I don't want to just write down everyday useless dribble. I sincerely hope that this blog never becomes just a Twitter in long form. That would be very unfortunate. So I write when I feel like I have something adequate to say.
Like nostalgia is one of my favorite words to spell.
That was worth while.
Now onto the events which make up life.
I thoroughly advise to you to check your pet to see if he/she is a drug dealer. This may seem an idiotic thing to you and I readily admit that I subscribed to the same school of thought until I recently found a small weighing scale and six mini baggies with multicolored panda bears on them. Now this was quite the odd find for me because I have no need for a small weighing scale and six mini baggies with multicolored panda bears on them in any way whatsoever. So I began to do some investigating. I thought, "Now who fits the profile of a drug dealer who would leave these items in my room?" I could not imagine why some random slinger would leave his/her equipment behind in my room. So logically it had to be someone I knew. Someone who would probably sleep a lot, eat a lot, have strange episodes that could only be explained by narcotics. Maybe someone who would snap at you or be protective of a certain area where their stash may be. As I was contemplating these things I glanced over at my Shih Tzu, Prudence. She was sleeping at the foot of my bed, next to her empty food dish. Seeing this I realized she did sleep a lot. And eat a lot. And I also noticed she recently procured a diamond grill that said "Killa" across the front. There was also the evenings where she would run into the bathroom and hop in the tub, barking about the planes and how we had to escape the Nazis. Could that have been a bad trip? Surely not. Regardless I decided to test it out. I walked over to the side of my bed and began to reach under (she spends a lot of time under bed and until now I had not idea why). I had barely gotten my hand under the bed before she was up and in my face as if to say "Don't worry about under there. That's none of your concern." So needless to say I am concerned and believe Prudence is dealing drugs from under my bed. So please check your pets and let me know if you find anything.
As of late I have been suffering from some very intense dreams. Usually when I dream I always know it's a dream and I can control them. I am told not many people have this ability so I feel kinda cool. However the past few nights my dreams have been unknown and uncontrollable. It is a strange feeling and I don't like it. I had a dream that I was being observed by some third party in a sterile room where I was strapped to a mental table. They were in full haz-mat suits and I could not see their faces, but they were taking notes on a clipboard. I could have sworn it was real. I woke up however realizing it was only a dream. I lay in bed looking at the ceiling when I realize things are not as they should be. I see a small camera in the corner and my drug dealing dog is writing something on a clipboard and talking to the camera. Suffice it to say I was freaking out. I wake up for real this time and have no clue what is going on. I have never had a dream like that. Never have I woken up from a dream into another dream. It was not cool. Now some people may say that I was abducted by aliens or some hogwash like that. I do not give any thought to such ideas because I do not believe that the beings in outer space have the capabilities of reaching us yet. It's just silly to think that. No what I believe happened was, in a way, exactly what I dreamt had happened. I think my smack slinging gangsta dog was testing some new hallucinogen on me without my knowing. This is not cool. I am all for human testing but only when the subject is willing. I think it's time Prudence and I have a little talk about what is acceptable and what is not.
Have a good day.
"I feel the same way about disco as I do about herpes."
-Hunter S. Thompson
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